MR MURPHY LIVES HERE

Today was to be a fabulous day for March. The weather forecast called for lots of sun and a high of 17C. Could it get any better than that? It was to be the perfect day to re-skin the greenhouse.

For a change, the forecast was accurate and as this morning dawned, you knew spring was in the air. Suited up in high boots, work gloves and a light jacket, utility knife in hand, I went out to begin removing the old greenhouse skin. This was going to be a very productive day and soon all of the seedlings in the dining room would be moved into the greenhouse. But I forgot three things: A) This is mid-March, B) This is South Western Ontario and C) Anything that can go wrong, will.

Let’s start with “A”. Since this is just the middle of March, and since just three days ago there was still several feet of snow on the ground and since the temperature warmed up rather quickly, the snow melted. Quickly. Can’t complain about that! However, because it is March, the ground hasn’t thawed out enough to absorb all of the snow melt. Welcome to the bog in our back yard. Okay, that’s not so bad, we can avoid the really wet areas. Except, for the huge puddle on the south side of the greenhouse. The huge, muddy puddle. The puddle that grabbed a hold of my boot and refused to let go. The puddle that continued to suck my foot deeper and deeper into the mud. The more I struggled, the more the puddle tightened its grip on my boot. It probably would not have been difficult to extricate myself had I not been attempting to straddle the puddle when it attacked me. It is rather difficult to break free of a death grip when your feet are four feet apart, and one of them is atop a pallet of composted manure. But I did. No mud puddle was going to best me! Time for a break. Besides I had to change my socks and my jeans and wash up. Why anyone would pay for a mud bath is beyond me!

On to “B”. As I mentioned, this is South Western Ontario. Now, if you’ve never been to this part of the province, let me describe it to you. It is flat. Depending on what part of what county you live in, any mound of dirt higher than three feet (natural or man made) is considered a hill. It has prime crop land, miles and miles of wide open spaces and very few trees left. In comparison to other parts of the province that is. Dotted throughout the countryside are numerous villages, remnants of once thriving towns. The village we live in is bounded on four sides by open farm land. Wind just loves to blow across open farm land. Since this is a very small village, there are not many buildings to stop the wind or divert it. For some reason, today, the wind decided our property would be the perfect place to wreak havoc. Mind you, when I began to remove the old skin, the wind was nothing more than a gentle breeze. With every foot of plastic I removed, the wind grew stronger. By the time I had all off it off, it was blowing just below gale force strength. Now, picture if you will, one lone person attempting to neatly fold a 36’ x 24’ sheet of used greenhouse plastic on the lawn, in the wind. A lot of muttering under my breath was going on but eventually, some how, some way, I did manage to get it folded in spite of the hurricane blowing through our back garden. Within in ten minutes of completing this amazing feat of outwitting the wind, it blew away, across the fields, looking for someone else to prey upon. I probably shamed into moving on by my stubbornness. I had earned of cup of tea and was going to have one before the new skin went on the greenhouse. Twenty minutes later, I stepped outside, ready to begin the battle of installing the new skin. As I made my way to the greenhouse, I noticed the tops of the trees moving, just a little. Next were bits of paper rolling down the street, followed by little dust devils on the road. I gathered all my tools, put them away and went in the house for another cup of tea. We’ll try again tomorrow.

As for “C”? See A and B and take comfort in knowing that Mr. Murphy and all his crazy laws will not be bothering you again. He seems to have taken up permanent residence here.